Retro Jon-o
Down With Dirty Pizza (2003)
Celebrating 5 years of clean pizza!
Episode XXI: Saving Ryan's Pizza
Episode XXII: The Scorpion Pizza
Episode XXIII: Willy Wonka and the Pizza Factory
Yikes! Once again... Once again... The Delorean sent me into the 70's where I portrayed in Ronald Dahl's new movie, Willy Wonka and the Pizza Factory. All I knew is that this movie was educational but it sucked. It was about Charlie and his grandpa getting into dirty pizza and overdosing on it with their friends then all of a sudden they wake up at a Clean Pizza Re-hab center (Pizza Factory). I was the rehab instructor because I pushed around former/current dirty pizza addicts, and trust me, while filming the movie, they were real people... Yuk, who would do something like that? Well Willy Wonka showed the kids and Charlie around the factory, showing off his Umpa Loompas, and his pattened formula, The Everlasting Pizza. Wow what a good invention to have. That sure beats his old crappy Chocolate Factory. But sadly Charlie and his Grandpa actually die in this movie, once again the two drink the bubbly and they floated up once again, but this time I made the roof like a fan that pushes up from the bottom and sucks you up from the top, so they paid the price for drinking the bubbly because that's bad for you, sequels can be destructive, and this time i proved them right. Well I wont give away the ending to this movie, but I have to give you a hint, it has to do something with Mr. Ohnstad and hints on his evolution to Mr. Badstad. Oh wait... This movie is at least 30 years old by now... Hmm.... Oh well back to the future!!!
Down With Dirty Pizza (2003)
Celebrating 5 years of clean pizza!
Episode XXI: Saving Ryan's Pizza
Bang, boom, doom! Yes that is me on the front line saving the lives of others as me and my rag tag team deliver the pizza to Private Ryan. There I went back into time in the Delorean (my dad designed the real model). Thanks to Doc Brown it was really easy to get back in time. So here's the story when I went to WWII... It was a most dangerous attempt because we had to get Ryan's pizza before it became dirty, and we surely don't want that to happen, do we? Well this how it all went down, unit after unit of dirty pizza went down after we destroyed them, it was a horrible sight and time was running out, as if it was always running out. As we blasting through the death jungle, the weirdest thing happened. We came across Mr. Ohnstad, I have no clue why or how but he was there eating pizza, but we had no time to stop, Ryan's pizza must be saved! Too bad the Terminator didn't want to do this job, too bad he's an emo, self-centered cry baby, who every time we save the day or almost save the day, he download his emo chip, and away he goes. Crying, crying, and listing to emotional music, such as Cutting Crew and other sad stuff. If you're going to ask, yes we saw Hitler, and we didn't kill him, the dirty pizza did, that's the true story about World War II, the dirty pizza killed Hitler, and during that time Hitler gave birth to Lizzie Mcguire, then Lizzie Mcguire throttled herself into the future... But yeah... Hmm... Well if you're going to ask another question, yes we happened to deliver the pizza to Ryan and he was all happy because the war in Europe was now over and he could go home back to the pizza parlor he worked in, with the all-mighty great Poop! Adios!
Episode XXII: The Scorpion Pizza
I believe today was a hard day at work for many reasons...
1: I got sent farther back into time.
2: Lizzie Mcguire is on a rampage.
3: Pizzas back then were like pitas
4: Why was Mr. Ohnstad there during WWII?
5: I forget...
6: The Great Poop smells when he was a young lad.
Well yes the Delorean did break when I attempted to go back into the future, well kind of, I accidentally put 2003 BC instead of AD and I was too lazy to set it back into hyper tron with the Flux Capacitor... But yeah, I bet you don't know what that is but neither do I. Well I ended up in Egypt where people eat pizzas out of pitas, but oh well, I'm cool with that. When I was telling people DWDP, I met this guy named the Scorpion Pizza. He's this guy who's against dirty pitas (cause pizzas were pita type food back then). He was a guy who loved to go around killing the Dirty Pita Police, and that seems a little bit similar to my job... Well he was known for clean pitas and he also chanted DWDP, which was in the same direction as my slogan goes. I believe this man was the creator of the DWDP back in the day. The guy who I'm with is and always be the real, original, Down With Dirty Pizza master, besides me... Well I'm going to hop back into the Delorean to see if I can make it back home, and if I don't I guess this web page will be at least 4000 years when i get home. Enjoy!
PS: DOWN WITH DIRTY PIZZA!!!
1: I got sent farther back into time.
2: Lizzie Mcguire is on a rampage.
3: Pizzas back then were like pitas
4: Why was Mr. Ohnstad there during WWII?
5: I forget...
6: The Great Poop smells when he was a young lad.
Well yes the Delorean did break when I attempted to go back into the future, well kind of, I accidentally put 2003 BC instead of AD and I was too lazy to set it back into hyper tron with the Flux Capacitor... But yeah, I bet you don't know what that is but neither do I. Well I ended up in Egypt where people eat pizzas out of pitas, but oh well, I'm cool with that. When I was telling people DWDP, I met this guy named the Scorpion Pizza. He's this guy who's against dirty pitas (cause pizzas were pita type food back then). He was a guy who loved to go around killing the Dirty Pita Police, and that seems a little bit similar to my job... Well he was known for clean pitas and he also chanted DWDP, which was in the same direction as my slogan goes. I believe this man was the creator of the DWDP back in the day. The guy who I'm with is and always be the real, original, Down With Dirty Pizza master, besides me... Well I'm going to hop back into the Delorean to see if I can make it back home, and if I don't I guess this web page will be at least 4000 years when i get home. Enjoy!
PS: DOWN WITH DIRTY PIZZA!!!
Episode XXIII: Willy Wonka and the Pizza Factory
Yikes! Once again... Once again... The Delorean sent me into the 70's where I portrayed in Ronald Dahl's new movie, Willy Wonka and the Pizza Factory. All I knew is that this movie was educational but it sucked. It was about Charlie and his grandpa getting into dirty pizza and overdosing on it with their friends then all of a sudden they wake up at a Clean Pizza Re-hab center (Pizza Factory). I was the rehab instructor because I pushed around former/current dirty pizza addicts, and trust me, while filming the movie, they were real people... Yuk, who would do something like that? Well Willy Wonka showed the kids and Charlie around the factory, showing off his Umpa Loompas, and his pattened formula, The Everlasting Pizza. Wow what a good invention to have. That sure beats his old crappy Chocolate Factory. But sadly Charlie and his Grandpa actually die in this movie, once again the two drink the bubbly and they floated up once again, but this time I made the roof like a fan that pushes up from the bottom and sucks you up from the top, so they paid the price for drinking the bubbly because that's bad for you, sequels can be destructive, and this time i proved them right. Well I wont give away the ending to this movie, but I have to give you a hint, it has to do something with Mr. Ohnstad and hints on his evolution to Mr. Badstad. Oh wait... This movie is at least 30 years old by now... Hmm.... Oh well back to the future!!!
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