Retro Jon-o : DWDP Episodes 7 - 10

Retro Jon-o

Down With Dirty Pizza (2003)

(Celebrating Five Years of Clean Pizza!)

Episode VII: The Dirty Pizza That Destroyed Us All...

EH... What a bad dream... I had a dream where I was in the pizza headquarters telling Alf to leave the building before it was too late, before the Dirty Pizza engulfed his furriness... It was scary, seeing Alf talking to Soda Sam and Homeless Harl... Then Alf took his break and went up to the floor which all the secret pizza files and documents are stored... He was on the same floor that got hit by that big dirty pizza and the great open soda bottle! I kept on yelling, "Alf!! Get out!!! Get out now!!!" And the last thing I ever saw of him was Alf saying, "Wow, that's a pretty big dirty pizza..." Losing Alf was hard because that guy was like family to me... It sucks when you lose all your pizza and a best friend all in one day. Our fur ball gruff is lost but not forgotten thanks to that Dirty Pizza that destroyed us all... I hope one day me and the Great Poop can take over the dirty pizza H.Q. After this bad dream I had a chance to think to myself... Why are we here, why has dirty pizza came to be, what's with open soda bottles??? I bet everyday you ponder those same questions too. But I promise you... just because I had a bad dream doesn't mean this is over... it's far from over... Just because I only have my pizza left doesn't mean I’m going to go down without a fight!! DWDP

The dirty pizza up in the sky...

A poem to the dead.

Let this mistake bring a vivid crystal to their eyes...

So drain out the dirty pizza before the cheese brings a choke.

I can't inhale the sparkle of your soda...

Episode VIII: Dirty Pizza, the final frontier...

Dirty pizza, the final frontier... That's what my friend Capt. Kirk was saying on the enterprise when he picked me up from my house and we cruised around space... I told him about the destruction about Pizza H.Q., and he became very sad... We spent hours how to ambush the pizza... Mr. Spock had many good ideas but they only seem to work in the future time, not present time... When coming back on the bridge Mr. Spock noticed that the dirty pizza radar was going of the charts! We knew this couldn't be true! Capt. Kirk went to red alert as we stood in shock, not knowing what to do... Then I figured it out...! We should fill up torpedoes with pizza and shoot it at the object, but wait that would be destroying the pizza and getting the great poop upset! So we just decided to shoot two regular torpedoes... Then we had to get out of there, so I told Mr. Sulu to take us out on impulse power... After we destroyed the dirty pizza we all celebrated with some Clean Pizza and Closed Soda Bottles...!! Wow that was a really fun and action packed trip! I'm glad that the angry flower didn't bloomed and ate us alive..! I wonder what's next in for our anti-dirty pizza movement... I hope we get to take this to a whole new level instead of being lost in a television world....DOWN WITH DIRTY PIZZA!!! SPREAD THE WORD!!! Yay! Hurrah! Eh...

Episode IX: Into The Matrix: Part II

As Tank hooked me up into the matrix, we had only one thing on our minds... To destroy dirty pizza. I met up with this guy called Neo and we went into this building to help save Morpheus. We went up the elevator after battling a bunch of Dirty Pizza SWAT members in a lobby, and then we destroyed the elevator. It was a tough climb after we battled off the Anti-Pizza resistance groups but it was all fun and games to me. We got to the top of the roof to snag a helicopter, and then we ran into none other then, Agent Smith... He wanted our pizza and he wanted it now! So he started to throw dirty pizza at Neo, surprisingly he started to dodge the pizza one by one as he was quickly moving, faster then the Great Poop himself... After all that was over with, Neo was shocked and surprised on what just happened... It was a marvelous scene to watch and glorify at...! We got into the dirty pizza helicopter and got out quickly of the dirty pizza head quarters... that place you never want to be in it again, it smells worst then the almighty open soda bottle... eh...! We got in touch with Tank once again and we went back into the real world as we got a connected line and we all went home... Wow! What a fun and exciting day... Instead of going to Chicago, I'm going to go over to New York next time!

Episode X: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Pizza

Instead of going to New York for the week, I decided to head over to DWDP Boarding School, where there's pizza and wizardry, it's pretty cool there... But enough about that, it all started when I received a call from Harry for me to come over and hang out, so I said yes. So I take the Pizzawarts express and head over... When I came over we started to battle evil people like people who do bad things and such. The real reason I came was to learn about the Sorcerer's pizza. A pizza that if you eat it you'll live forever... It seems pretty cool but it's guarded by this huge three headed dog called Pizzaie. The school is pretty nice, but it smells really bad! Also we suspect that there could be something wrong with the school; cause when Harry was playing some evil pizza attacked him... Searching high, and searching low, I couldn't find the pizza... Maybe next time... maybe next time... Anyways, Harry is mean sometimes; I hope he jumps off a bridge... soon.

Thank you for time traveling with me! See you all next week!