Bluetooths: Beauty and the Borg?

Over the last few months, there has been an increase in brain wave confusion due to high sales in this new technology called Bluetooth which have been providing hands free interaction from cellular phones. All across the world, humans are raging on how the Bluetooth technology has raised the average national happiness level and even brough a larger desire for pregnancy amongst single and married couples.



Modern day politics are now being changed for the advancement of this technology


"Bluetooth is the future of our nation." said republican Presidential nominee John McCain, "If we don't move forward in cybernetic, then we only dig ourselves in a hole where we are only going to wake up in 25 to 50 years now."


"Ever since I have been in office, all of the bills I have endorsed are in the sake of Bluetooth technology." said in a speach at the 2008 DNC by Democratic presidential nominee Barak Obama. "For those who use a standardized telephone, they are not my people."

As you can see, Bluetooth is what appears to be the savior of this collapsing country. But as many don't realize, these presidential candidates are more than meets the eye. They are cyborgs created by the Bluetooth corporation bred for one purpose, to destroy the race of men.


Have you ever wondered why all these laws are being passed across the nation about hands free devices with cell phones? Because people who run this country in this technological age are nothing but Borg featured from Star Trek The Next Generation.



There are now schizophrenic cyborgs walking the streets today, clouding our minds as if we were interacting with them in a deep and philosophical conversation, but that is never the case.

Here is a real life example of a schizophrenic cyborg conversation.



You are walking down the street enjoying your day.

Friendly man says, "Wow isn't a beautiful day?"

You smile and say to the friendly man, "Indeed it is."

Friendly man says, "Ah yes darling, is dinner going to be ready by nightfall?"

You smile and say to the friendly man, "I don't understand what you mean sir."

Friendly man says, "No all you have to do is put it in the microwave."

You touch the friendly man and respond, "are you ok?"

Friendly man turns his head and you see a large bluetooth device covering his ear, you realize it is a cyborg.

You try to run from the cyborg and he hits you for 50 HP, you are now dead.
Game over.




You see! Schizophrenic cyborgs are dangerous! They drive down the streets acting like they are talking to you, they shop at your grocery store acting like they are a third person character, and they even try to make you sign petitions that don't even make any sense.
If you do not get that the schizophrenic cyborgs are the Borg controlling this wonderful, collapsing nation, then you are lost! Do you know how Boromir died in Lord of the Rings, he tried to take the Bluetooth device from Frodo when he was trying to destroy it for the sake of mankind.

Please, if you read this, you are only destroying the human race, not saving it. The presidential nominees do not know what they are talking about when it comes to technology of this nation. We will all soon have cancer and look like a gummy worm that was only having a bad day.



Save the human race!

Destroy your bluetooth!

Thank you for your support!

See you in the future!

... if there is one.