Retro Jon-o : DWDP Episodes 4 - 6

Retro Jon-o

Down With Dirty Pizza (2003)
(Celebrating Five Years of Clean Pizza!)

Episode IV: Into The Matrix

It was a rush... As I hacked into the matrix with my good old friend Trinity, we were on a power trip... Our only goal was to destroy the dirty pizza main frame. As Trinity was on the computer I decided to jot down some notes on how to hack into the DP H.Q. The in a flash, the dirty pizza police stepped into the room... They wanted us to give up the pizza but we refused to... Since Trinity know Kung-poo, she was able to fight off the police! Wow, I peed my pants cause i was so scared! I'm glad i called up Tank and told him to help me to get the heck out of here... We couldn't get into the Dirty Pizza Main Frame, but maybe we can do that sooner or later... I hope... But for now, I'm heading off to Middle earth to join with my LOTR friends...!!!

Episode V: The Fellowship of the Pizza

Today was a long day in middle earth... Our friend Gandalf showed us a path that leads to the land of Dirty Pizza... It's a very sad site... A lot of dirty pizza and opened soda bottles. Gandalf had to bring his friends along... eh... Those hobbits are pretty rude but they can be cool some times. Whe we reached a tomb our friend Gimli rushed into the room as we found a man who died from a battle with a dirty pizza... But all of a sudden those hobbit guys were messing with the only clean pizza left in these caves and accidentally pushed it down a hole where all the orcs lived. It was a dirty seen as the orcs made the pizza dirty and rushed into the room which we were in... We were helpless but as the battle progressed we became unstoppable because i was eating a clean pizza. After the battle was all said and done, we happened to form what we call, "The Fellowship of The Pizza..." It was so great it brought a tear to my eye... the same tear you when you weep to that open soda bottle... We all started to go back to Hobbiton to eat. All i have to say is never eat the Strider Special... It tastes like poop... Yuk!

Episode VI: Darth Dirty Pizza

In all of my dirty pizza fighting days, I have never seen one this brutal... Me, Obi-Wan, and Qui-poop-chin were eating pizza on a sunny day until that evil guy behind me, Darth Dirty Pizza, appeared. The jedis busted out their bread sticks and they fought a hard and long battle. I felt like i had to go to the bathroom but I couldn't because i had to stick to the fight... Then i remembered! There was one slice of pizza left in the box! So i went to go eat it... It was really good, it was my favorite type... Pepperoni! Darth dirty pizza was getting scared from my pizza and started to pee his pants in a all out war with the pizza. Then it came to a sudden halt... we started to lose the battle, and there was almost no more pizza!! Then that's when the great poop came out to once again safe us!!! This huge poop brought his friend the great toliet and it was a four on one battle for the respect of the pizza! Ah... The power of the pizza. Then it all ended when i ordered a clean pizza for Darth Dirty Pizza. The delivery guy from Round Table came in the battle and said, "I'm looking for a Darth Dirty Pizza, the one who ordered this clean pizza..." Then he fell... We couldn't question him because he was counting Al Gores in his sleep... Wow what a fun and exicting adventure... I wonder what's next to come...?

Thanks for time traveling with me today!