Strengths and Weaknesses

Strength and Weaknesses

One fine evening a few days ago in a dream of mine, my friend and I were strolling through the beautiful city of San Francisco talking about life and everyday enjoyments under the moonlit sky when we started to bring up the conversation of strengths and weaknesses of each other. Looking down at the shiny asphalt from the mixture of water and the lights of the city I began to ponder the question. After my response to her, this is what she said to me.

"Jon-o, your greatest strength is that you are a guy who can get along and connect with any type of person. You are apart of every group but a representative of none, it is like you have no true identity but a wonderer in this society, that I see is your greatest weakness."

There is some truth in that statement and there are some missing, it is hard to understand what seems real and what seems imaginary at points in our lives. I am always willing to improve myself, and if you see something I could work on, we are in this together. In my dreams there have been a couple of symbols that have been reoccuring and after I asked her what I said I should do, she told me, "It is time to move onto the next chapter of your life."
Looking at her smile fade away off into the foggy night, I came to realize that I was sitting in my bed starring at the ceiling and I said to myself, "I am ready."


Ire Works

Retro Jon-o : DWDP - What is Dirty Pizza ? ? ?

Retro Jon-o

Down With Dirty Pizza (2003)

Celebrating 5 years of clean pizza!


What is Dirty Pizza ? ? ?

Dirty pizza is when you get pizza dirty as in stomping it into the ground with anger when you are upset, do it for pleasure, or you are an elite member of UWDP (Up With Dirty Pizza). Dirty pizza is used to destroy people's lives, (like mine) and others... The leader of the UWDP movement was founded by a man named Lizzie Mcguire about a year ago.
How to avoid dirty pizza:

1. Make sure it's clean and pure.
2. Bake it until it's clean
3. Don't watch the Disney channel
4. If it's dirty, don't eat it.

Watch out and be prepared because sooner or later someone you know will be effected from the dangerous use of dirty pizza....

The Down With Dirty Pizza Anthem

Saturate yourself with the stench of Dirty,
it seems you're addicted to Bad Pizza.
Inhale the lies of pure pizza
and fame they've got you trapped in food.
Is this what you need?
DWDP?
What you need to eat in?
Pizza into what?
An early grave.
Swallow every dirty pizza that is fed to you.
Watching yourself decay everyday.
Coughing up sauce and cheese, do it again and again.
Eating Dirty pizza, you have no chance to win.
As you've seen this world prey on pizza.
This dirty pizza takes my breath away.
The pizza that I eat - second hand disease.
How can you say it doesn't affect me?

Put the pizza down your throat,
Dirty Pizza Makes you CHOKE! x5

Then on the 6th time...
Put the pizza down your throat,
DOWN WITH DIRTY PIZZA, CHOKE!!

Thanks for time traveling with me, check back next week for DWDP feature film, Pikatron The Movie!

Micah the Mountain Origins: Chapter IV

Micah the Mountain Origins
Chapter IV

Deep inside the Scientology Lavatory located in Los Angeles, John Travolta, using his pay from the movie Hairspray, was developing the latest technology to take down the floating mystical mustached mountain named Micah.

On screen with the Bluetooth Republicans (BTR), BYU, and the Stevia Factory, John Travolta discussed his latest plan. "You see here my friends, we have the technology, all we need now is to apply it. You see... I have this high tech transmitter device that will take down the mustached mountain and we can use his stash hairs to once again reclaim Hollywood!"

The only thing was that John Travolta was lying, he was actually draining BYU's own funds to simply destroy it and reclaim Utah for the name of Scientology. From using his bluetooh, John was able to contact multiple people at once without touching a single button on his phone. Just like a paranoid android, he sat and laughed for the possible outcome.

Watching on the television screen that was bought by Bluetooth, he observed Micah's hovercraft going haywire and causing a handful of technical malfunctions. There was nothing anybody could do at this point but watch Micah float through the city of Salt Lake City.

Floating graciously through Salt Lake city, Micah began to notice that sparks began to accidentally out of his hover craft causing a couple of fires that he did not intend to do.

"Holy frog hairs!" exclaimed Micah with distress, "What is happening to my hovercraft? It is like I just ate a bunch of McDonalds McSkillet McSandwiches, and now my body is seeking revenge on my by wanting to poop it all out in the form of lighting bolts!"

"I think that is not the point." said the hiker, "My scanner detects that this hovercraft is operated by bluetooth technology and it seems like someone activated the malfunctioning button."

"Why is there a malfunctioning button?" asked Micah as he licked his Mustache.

The Hiker climbed down and took a piece of celery that Micah was so effortlessly trying to pick out of his mustache, "Don't ask me, I don't speak Spanish."

Slowly over the city, the two watched in horror, or most likely confusion as Salt Lake City was being destroyed by Micah's malfunctioning hovercraft.


After a couple of hours of pure mayhem and destruction on Micah's part, the Air Force finally came because they actually found out it was somewhat of national security to stop Salt Lake City from being burned down.

Shooting rockets, missiles, and rocket propelled grenades, Micah was staring to become confused why they were shooting at him. Luckily for Micah and the hiker, there was a protective plasmic shield that were protecting the two thanks to the gloriousness of Bluetooth technology.

"I don't understand why they're shooting at us?" asked Micah, "This really makes my mustache tingle, and I don't like the feeling of it.

The hiker tried to throw a McSkillet sandwiches at one of the aircraft fighters and missed, "Do you know what Micah, I think it is because we accidentally destroyed this city called, Salt Lake City. I don't get what the big deal is but they seem to be having one."

Dodging through city streets and buildings, Micah steered his hovercraft with great precision as he managed to avoid destruction. Becoming really sad and confused, Micah only had one choice, to flee to the forest. As much Micah is a mountain of peace and happiness, it began to rain in Salt Lake City that day, not by the water of the sky, but by Micah's own tears.

After a long day of misunderstanding and confusing story lines, the hiker and Micah fled into the wilderness hoping that they would not be found for a very long time...

Oh Dear! What will happen to Micah now since he accidentally destroyed Salt Lake City?

Support the Mustache, save the world.
Check back next week for Chapter V!

Aircanoe: The Poster

Click on it for a larger image and more detail.

Check out our Facebook group, Aircanoe (Spelled Wrong)

Zeitgeist: Volume III

Zeitgeist

Volume III

The spirit of the time; the general intellectual

and moral state or temper characteristic of any period of time.

After beginning my quest into creative arts back in February, I would like to introduce to you some of the drawings from my book that I made titled Zeitgeist which I was in spirit at the time to draw using crayons and expressing my feelings & ideas. Below are a couple of drawings with the meaning and commentary beneath them. I hope you enjoy my artwork!- Jon-o

11) Lain

Lain is a drawing based off one of my favorite anime mini-series, Serial Experiments Lain. I watched this show in a time in my life when I was trying to understand the world around me with taking a Humanities class and beginning to use my creative talent and this show helped me see life from another perspective that we have the choice to act upon freewill and sometimes we have to reset our own life to create a new one. When I drew this I tried to outline one of the pictures of her face but blacken it out with red dots because in the anime series, there are parts when Lain is walking down the street and it shows a mixture between reality and the fake world where it creates a mixture of blots and blobs as seen here. This was fun because it helped me practice drawing an actual human head which I still need practice on but in time it will all be perfected. If you want a good cyberpunk-abstract anime, then go watch Serial Experiments Lain. Review of the show 5/5.

12) Tutelary

Tutelary, which pretty much translates to having the position of guardian or protector of a person, place, or thing. I got this concept of a drawing randomly from concept art found in this book Realm of Tolkien: Images of Middle Earth where it shows the Wraiths standing in the field with swords, cloked and mysterious. Instead of drawing that I got this idea of drawing these spirit looking creatures with a sword, two have fruit, and I honestly forgot what the other two items. And clearly the girl in the window is a beautiful princess who is captive awaiting her prince to slay the spirit gaurdians and win her heart.

13) A Visitor in the Night

A Visitor in the Night is a drawing that is based off a true story of mine where one time I woke up in my room only to see an old lady holding a plate of sandwiches smiling at me. There not knowing what to do at 4:00 AM, I just sat there as she walked over me and vanished into the closet. Thinking she was actually in my closet I waved my hands in there hoping to see if anything was in there, but strangely it was all apart of my imagination. Over various research and studies, I came to the conclusion that my ability to see weird people in the night, such as the one above, is called Hypnagogia which can be viewed here. Basically it is a transitional time between Sleep and reality where sometimes certain images can crossfade into each other creating a sense that you might be seeing a ghost or another out of world object. From what I can recall, this has been something that I have experienced since I was a little kid, so this pretty much explains many questions I have had in the past. Thanks to drawing, parts of my life come together.

14) Aberrant

Aberrant translates to differing from the normal or accepted way, especially in behavior. This drawing was a concept of many things together, one including my favorite artist, Wassily Kandinsky and an album cover from the Mathcore band, The Number Twelve Looks Like You. I do love the style of Russian Cubism and the entropy of things. All throughout my life, I like to wonder away from the normal status and do my own thing, and this is how my brain felt one night and that is how I expressed it using a paper and crayons, controled chaos.

15) Architecture

Architecture is simple as that, I like it. I just randomly drew my favorite things, squares, circles, arrows, and lines to make this random city. The thing actually is significant in this drawing is the sun because I had a dream once where on this distant planet, a small man made sun was used for energy and it had these rings around it kind of like in the movie Contact, just gyrospheres everywhere. Pretty simple and clean, just how things should be.

I hope you enjoyed my drawings and check back next time in the near future for Volume IV!

Retro Jon-o: DWDP Episodes 14-16

Retro Jon-o

Down With Dirty Pizza (2003)

Celebrating 5 years of clean pizza!

Episode XIV: Lord of the Pizzas: The Two Gooberts

Ever since the pizza H.Q. was destroyed, a day has never shocked me as bad as this one did... I was walking home from seeing the Matrix for my 5th time and I saw my good old' Middle Earth friends and what stood out was that they were sad... (What’s with everyone turning emo?) So I headed over and I saw that it was the grossest thing I’ve ever seen before, a pile of dirty pizzas... They were all looking around to see what the cause of this madness was but no one could figure it out! I called up the Great Poop and asked him and he didn't know what to do... Gimili was so sad that he cried himself to sleep while crying some more... Being a pizza detective is the hardest job in the world... eh... Well we couldn't find any survivors... all lost in this tragic destruction! I should pull myself together and go to somewhere else where I can be alone...

Episode XV: P-Men 2: Pizza United

Invasion! Invasion! I was hanging out with Ice Man and Wolverine until the dirty pizza police entered the room! If it wasn't for that girl who ate a dirty pizza and screamed really loud, we wouldn't be here today! I was up at Xavier's house hanging around and using the Celebro, a device that shows all the pizzas in existence all over the world, and busting out my teleporting power. Well after Wolverine's b-day party the dirty police stormed into the house collecting all the P-Men and pizza they could find... The group was down to three people, me, wolverine, and the famous el Chupanebra. To remind you, the el Chupanebra is the female version of the el chupanebre... What a cool guy! Well wolverine cut up the dirty pizza police with the formal weapon, the pizza cutter... I just stood there looking all cool, and the el chupanebra just said "DWDP" so when you come across a P-Man just say, Pizza United goobert!

Episode XVI: Dirty Pizza Reloaded

Yup! Back into the matrix I go! Me and Neo went to hang out for the Oracle today and to eat pizza, a lot of pizza! We called up Niobe and Ghost to come down also and they brought their $5 and we started to eat. Ghost hates sauce on his pizza and Niobe hates cheese on her pizza, the two are a weird couple... We were eating until Dirty Pizza Agent Smith came into the scene. We were ready to battle until he said that he's not an agent anymore but he's just Smith now... Well we were cool with that so we decided to hang out with him for the day. He was cool and all until when he was eating a slice of pizza he threw it down on the ground and started to laugh... Then that's when we figured he's still against pizza! Then Neo and Smith got up and that Lobby Music (from the first matrix) started to play in the background. When I was weeping to the dirty pizza, it turned into another smith, and a bunch more smiths came through the gates of the park and there were many of them! When I thought it couldn't get worse guess who came out of the apartment complex? Mr. Badstad! After he came out he snapped his fingers and about 100+ of them came out! Since Mr. Badstad evolved from Mr. Ohnstad because he got a motorcycle, he's been badder then ever! Eh... Well since I didn't want to fight that day I started to play with a rock and tossed it up and down! How fun... Well since Neo is a crybaby he just flew off making me be left with Mr. Badstad! I got so scared I peed my pants and me and the Keymaker got the heck out of there as we opened a door to another dimension! I wonder where I’m going? DWDP!

Thank you for traveling with me! See you all next time....

The Wrath of Solicitors

The Wrath of Solicitors ! ! !

Featured in the October 1st, 2008 issue of the Saddleback Lariat Newspaper

Saddleback Community College, a place of prosperity where adults from all over southern Orange County gather to higher their education and goals in life to achieve a higher status in society, but, in this day and age it has been on the downward spiral of devolution. The reasons for this devolution are these rare breed of creatures called solicitors which have been slowly multiplying by the numbers over the years. Solicitors are roaming our campus, like a pack of wild zombies wishing to chew our brains away with useless information and pyramid schemes. These people only want to take what is most valuable to you and sell it to the highest bidder, your soul. Just because they say that school is the safest place that you can be, it is actually isn’t.

On any ordinary day in the abnormally sunny city of Mission Viejo, you could be walking down the path going to your next class only to be bombarded by several groups asking you to do the same thing. Being the humans that we are, we feel inclined to give them our sympathy and buy into their demands, but at times it isn’t the best decision. Here is a perfect example of a conversation between a solicitor and you, the innocent miniature college student.

“Hello sir, how are you doing today?” said the large man in a size small shirt, “Would you be interested in signing up for a free 14 day membership at Hard Bodies Gym?”

Looking down at your own physique, you notice that you are approximately 1/5^th his body size. If he wanted to, he could crush you with his bald shiny head and mustache. Not knowing if this man is serious or not, you reply, “Sure.”

Fourteen days later, you noticed that you are completely broke and financially insecure because you have just given away your credit card information, driver’s license, and social security card. You have basically became erased, there is now a forty year old man with a bald head and a mustache wearing your clothes, sitting in on your classes, and going out with your girlfriend. Easily, thinking you can become the biggest, fastest, and coolest kid with a free membership really didn’t work out in the end.

Sadly, at the alarming rate the human population is reproducing, we are only going to see the best of solicitors in the upcoming years. Just like if they were Orcs breeded in the heart of Mordor, their armor will only become thicker, and their words will only become more convincing. Ranging from Hard Bodies Gym memberships, Latter Day Saints, McDonalds Exercise Program, Real Estate Agents, Blue Tooth Republicans (BTR), Team Rocket, and scary post-apocalyptic Icelandic zombie proliferators, we need to simply be ready and hold fast hope with standing firm in our beliefs that people who solicit and fight the good fight. If we give up and lose the fight, we will soon be assimilated like the Borg. Like Captain Picard said once, “Resistance is futile.” Well guess what, you were wrong Picard… you were wrong…